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Quotes

  • Are you actually trying to read this? - Gentoo

  • Sorry, your platform is not supported - Adobe

  • HOLY COW I’M TOTALLY GOING SO FAST OH F*** link

  • The sendmail configuration file is one of those files that looks like someone beat their head on the keyboard. After working with it… I can see why! - Harry Skelton

  • Programming yesterday was about developers vs idiots. Now the developers are the idiots - AllenJB

  • Cogito, ergo sum periculosus. - İç Mihrak

  • Don’t trust any quote you read online! - Abraham Lincoln

  • Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it. - Richard P. Feynman

  • Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it. - Philip K. Dick

  • The chief cause of problems is solutions. Eric Sevareid

  • I’ve often thought about replacing myself with a small shell script. Matt Billenstein

  • You can’t make computers go faster; you can only make them do less.

  • There are only two hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation and naming things. - Phil Karlton

  • is_computer_on_fire() - Link

  • My view on anything even remotely related with oracle is “fuck no”. - TrevorSpartacus

  • Perl - The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption. - Keith Bostic

  • No news is good news. - Nick Bostrom

  • invalid user: +x - chown

  • 你连死都想了那还怕什么,敢死不敢活啊?你就活下去看看明天是怎么样 - sswong / HN

  • Everything not saved will be lost. - Nintendo

  • Arguing that you don’t care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don’t care about free speech because you have nothing to say. - Edward Snowden

  • Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable. - John F. Kennedy

  • If there is a god, he will have to beg my forgiveness. Carved into a concentration camp cell by a Jewish prisoner

  • Creeds matter very little… The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. So I elect for neither label. - James Branch Cabell

  • You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do. - David Foster Wallace / Infinite Jest

  • Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word “no”. - Betteridge’s law of headlines

  • A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone. - Larry David / Curb Your Enthusiasm

  • There is no such thing as “ad blocking”. The web is a pull medium, not a push medium. I merely decline to request ads. - Anonymous

  • The NSA didn’t wake up and say, “Let’s just spy on everybody!” They looked up and said, “Wow, corporations are spying on everybody. Let’s get ourselves a copy!” - Bruce Schneier

  • People just submitted it. I don’t know why. They “trust me”. Dumb fucks. -Mark zuckerberg

  • What if I give my employees training and they leave? What if you don’t, and they stay?

  • You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. - Rev. Robert Cromey

  • There are two rules for success: 1. Never tell everything you know. - Roger H. Lincoln

  • Anyone can design a cipher that he himself cannot break. This is why you should uniformly distrust amateur cryptography, and why you should only use published algorithms that have withstood broad cryptanalysis. - Bruce Schneier

  • 90% of everything is crap - Sturgeon’s Law

  • There are two types of companies, those that have been hacked, and those that don’t yet know they have been hacked.

  • One of the most irrational of all the conventions of modern society is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected. - HL Mencken

  • X Windows is to memory as Ronald Reagan was to money. - The UNIX-HATERS Handbook

  • What was the SSH port, 22? - A ‘senior-level’ I’ve worked with

  • People aren’t mostly angered by the existence of the corruption itself, but mostly by the fact that they aren’t included in it. - /u/kwonza

  • My secret bonus is that no matter what you choose, you’re finally gonna chill the fuck out. - Rick (S03E09)

  • If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward, then brother, that person is a piece of shit. - True Detective

  • Don’t use kill -9. Don’t bring out the combine harvester just to tidy up the flower pot. - Randal / Usenet

  • The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it. - Bullshit asymmetry principle

  • I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops. - Stephen Jay Gould

  • The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. - Paul Valéry

  • War is peace, freedom is slavery, serverless is actually servers. - dijit

  • To search expectantly for a radio signal from an extraterrestrial source is probably as culture-bound presumption as to search the galaxy for a good Italian restaurant. - Terence McKenna

  • A month in the laboratory can often save an hour in the library. - Frank Westheimer

  • Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires. - Ronald Wright

  • I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs - Mitch Hedberg

  • A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure. - Segal’s law

  • If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact - not to be solved, but to be coped with over time. - Shimon Peres

  • The best thing is to do the right thing; the next best is to do the wrong thing; the worst thing of all things is to stand perfectly still. - Alfred Henry Lewis

  • You don’t end up in Ops by making good decisions in your life - Anonymous

  • That’s the funny thing about internet. Everybody can get the knowledge he needs, but that doesn’t mean you can apply that knowledge and know about all consequences. - tintin / HN

  • Containers are more like a trash bag. Nobody expects it to be air tight, just good enough to make it to the dumpster. - icedchai / HN

  • Security by obscurity is a nice extra, but horrible foundation - /u/Swedneck

  • There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. - C. A. R. Hoare

  • It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad() procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity() procedure, to which “Baghdad” could be given as a parameter. - Nathaniel Borenstein

  • We build our computers the way we build our cities: Over time, without a plan, on top of ruins. - Ellen Ullman

  • I tried my best to be a good and kind person, but ultimately, I know my job was one that made rich motherfuckers even richer. I’m sorry. - benedictcucumberpatch

  • Sometimes, when a dish is local and doesn’t travel, those locals have got to ask themselves why it’s not traveling. - Richard Ayoade

  • Then there was the man who drowned crossing a stream with an average depth of six inches - W. I. E. Gates

  • What is reality? I don’t know. When my bird was looking at my computer monitor I thought, “Whoooaaa!! That bird has no idea what he’s looking at!” And yet what does the bird do? Does he panic? No, he can’t really panic, he just does the best he can. Is he able to live in a world where he’s so ignorant? Well, he doesn’t really have a choice. The bird is okay even though he doesn’t understand the world. You’re that bird looking at the monitor, and you’re thinking to yourself, “I can figure this out”. Maybe you have some bird ideas. Maybe that’s the best you can do. - Terry A. Davis

  • With a sufficient number of users of an API, it does not matter what you promise in the contract: all observable behaviors of your system will be depended on by somebody. - Law of Hyrum

  • You can have a second computer once you’ve shown you know how to use the first one. - Paul Barham

  • The law, in its majestic equality, forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal their bread. - Anatole France

  • A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  • We’ve never seen a power tremble before protests that it itself authorizes. - Joseph Andras

  • Saying your computer uses a lot of memory with Firefox running is like saying you car feels a bit heavy with an unspecified number of baby elephants sitting in the back. - FreewheelinFrank

  • The Copenhagen Interpretation of Ethics says that when you observe or interact with a problem in any way, you can be blamed for it. At the very least, you are to blame for not doing “more”. jaibot

  • A common fallacy is to assume authors of incomprehensible code will somehow be able to express themselves lucidly and clearly in comments. Kevlin Henney

  • The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John Perry Barlow

  • Americans will always do the right thing, but only after they have tried everything else. - Winston Churchill

  • It is said that men fear death. In my experience, what men truly fear is the uncertainty of death. In all that ordeal, when death was certain, I was possessed by an unassailable calm I have never felt before or since. It was only when the hope of survival appeared that I felt the true grip of terror. - Defender’s Quest: Valley of the Forgotten

  • I have a home theater PC running NixOS, but also all of my servers in my basement run NixOS too. It ruins you. Really bad. - Xe Iaso

  • Unix doesn’t have a philosophy: it has an attitude. An attitude that says a simple, half-done job is more virtuous than a complex, well-executed one. - The UNIX-HATERS Handbook

  • Simplicity is a property of systems, not components. Systems include people and processes. Marc

  • Companies often don’t realize AWS isn’t hands off “zero-experience needed magic cloud;” AWS is actually “datacenter as a service” and if you don’t have experience managing datacenters and network architecture and disks and a dozen other system-level platform architectures then your AWS account is probably in a bad state. - Matt