Quotes

Are you actually trying to read this? - Gentoo

Sorry, your platform is not supported - Adobe

HOLY COW I’M TOTALLY GOING SO FAST OH F*** link

The sendmail configuration file is one of those files that looks like someone beat their head on the keyboard. After working with it… I can see why! - Harry Skelton

Programming yesterday was about developers vs idiots. Now the developers are the idiots - AllenJB

Cogito, ergo sum periculosus. - İç Mihrak

Don’t trust any quote you read online! - Abraham Lincoln

Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it. - Richard P. Feynman

Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it. - Philip K. Dick

The chief cause of problems is solutions. Eric Sevareid

I’ve often thought about replacing myself with a small shell script. Matt Billenstein

You can’t make computers go faster; you can only make them do less.

There are only two hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation and naming things. - Phil Karlton

is_computer_on_fire() - Link

My view on anything even remotely related with oracle is “fuck no”. - TrevorSpartacus

Perl - The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption. - Keith Bostic

No news is good news. - Nick Bostrom

invalid user: +x - chown

你连死都想了那还怕什么，敢死不敢活啊？你就活下去看看明天是怎么样 - sswong / HN

Everything not saved will be lost. - Nintendo

Arguing that you don’t care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don’t care about free speech because you have nothing to say. - Edward Snowden

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable. - John F. Kennedy

If there is a god, he will have to beg my forgiveness. Carved into a concentration camp cell by a Jewish prisoner

Creeds matter very little… The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. So I elect for neither label. - James Branch Cabell

You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do. - David Foster Wallace / Infinite Jest

Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word “no”. - Betteridge’s law of headlines

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone. - Larry David / Curb Your Enthusiasm

There is no such thing as “ad blocking”. The web is a pull medium, not a push medium. I merely decline to request ads. - Anonymous

The NSA didn’t wake up and say, “Let’s just spy on everybody!” They looked up and said, “Wow, corporations are spying on everybody. Let’s get ourselves a copy!” - Bruce Schneier

People just submitted it. I don’t know why. They “trust me”. Dumb fucks. -Mark zuckerberg

What if I give my employees training and they leave?
What if you don’t, and they stay?

You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. - Rev. Robert Cromey

There are two rules for success: 1. Never tell everything you know. - Roger H. Lincoln

Anyone can design a cipher that he himself cannot break. This is why you should uniformly distrust amateur cryptography, and why you should only use published algorithms that have withstood broad cryptanalysis. - Bruce Schneier

90% of everything is crap - Sturgeon’s Law

There are two types of companies, those that have been hacked, and those that don’t yet know they have been hacked.

One of the most irrational of all the conventions of modern society is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected. - HL Mencken

X Windows is to memory as Ronald Reagan was to money. - The UNIX-HATERS Handbook

What was the SSH port, 22? - A ‘senior-level’ I’ve worked with

People aren’t mostly angered by the existence of the corruption itself, but mostly by the fact that they aren’t included in it. - /u/kwonza

My secret bonus is that no matter what you choose, you’re finally gonna chill the fuck out. - Rick (S03E09)

If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward, then brother, that person is a piece of shit. - True Detective

Don’t use kill -9. Don’t bring out the combine harvester just to tidy up the flower pot. - Randal / Usenet

The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it. - Bullshit asymmetry principle

I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops. - Stephen Jay Gould

The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. - Paul Valéry

War is peace, freedom is slavery, serverless is actually servers. - dijit

To search expectantly for a radio signal from an extraterrestrial source is probably as culture-bound presumption as to search the galaxy for a good Italian restaurant. - Terence McKenna

A month in the laboratory can often save an hour in the library. - Frank Westheimer

Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires. - Ronald Wright

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs - Mitch Hedberg

A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure. - Segal’s law

If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact - not to be solved, but to be coped with over time. - Shimon Peres

The best thing is to do the right thing; the next best is to do the wrong thing; the worst thing of all things is to stand perfectly still. - Alfred Henry Lewis

You don’t end up in Ops by making good decisions in your life - Anonymous

That’s the funny thing about internet. Everybody can get the knowledge he needs, but that doesn’t mean you can apply that knowledge and know about all consequences. - tintin / HN

Containers are more like a trash bag. Nobody expects it to be air tight, just good enough to make it to the dumpster. - icedchai / HN

Security by obscurity is a nice extra, but horrible foundation - /u/Swedneck

There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. - C. A. R. Hoare

It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad() procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity() procedure, to which “Baghdad” could be given as a parameter. - Nathaniel Borenstein

We build our computers the way we build our cities: Over time, without a plan, on top of ruins. - Ellen Ullman

I tried my best to be a good and kind person, but ultimately, I know my job was one that made rich motherfuckers even richer. I’m sorry. - benedictcucumberpatch

Sometimes, when a dish is local and doesn’t travel, those locals have got to ask themselves why it’s not traveling. - Richard Ayoade

Then there was the man who drowned crossing a stream with an average depth of six inches - W. I. E. Gates

What is reality? I don’t know. When my bird was looking at my computer monitor I thought, “Whoooaaa!! That bird has no idea what he’s looking at!” And yet what does the bird do? Does he panic? No, he can’t really panic, he just does the best he can. Is he able to live in a world where he’s so ignorant? Well, he doesn’t really have a choice. The bird is okay even though he doesn’t understand the world. You’re that bird looking at the monitor, and you’re thinking to yourself, “I can figure this out”. Maybe you have some bird ideas. Maybe that’s the best you can do. - Terry A. Davis

With a sufficient number of users of an API, it does not matter what you promise in the contract: all observable behaviors of your system will be depended on by somebody. - Law of Hyrum

You can have a second computer once you’ve shown you know how to use the first one. - Paul Barham

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal their bread. - Anatole France

A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery